Every day, walking around the city, I see people wearing The Wrong Jeans. And every day, I want to pull them aside gently and say, "just because you can wear them doesn't mean you should." I see rhinestones on 60-year-old women, way-too-skinny jeans on curvy women, acid washing and distressing on the most unflattering parts of the body, tiny butt pockets... it hurts me, physically, to see people wear such bad jeans. Hence the existence of this blog post.
A good, flattering pair of jeans should be a staple in everyone's wardrobe. No question. But there is a reason for all the different cuts, shapes and sizes - each one works better on a certain body shape. So the first step, to know what jeans you should be wearing, is to figure out your body shape.
Apple -Pear - Hourglass - Rectangle
Now that you've determined which inanimate object your body most closely resembles (I am an hourglass-rectangle hybrid), please review the different denim shapes available to you.
Okay, here we go!
- Opt for a mid-rise, hitting somewhere around your bellybutton.
- Avoid skinny and super-skinny cuts; your jeans should go straight down from your knee, not taper inward to the ankle.
- Also avoid very high-waisted pants, which will make you look disproportionate and unbalanced.
- Keep in mind that your denim waistband should not terminate at the widest part of your hips.
- Opt for a slightly more structured/rigid denim to keep you shaped and curved in all the right places. Avoid those super-stretchy, jegging-like jeans.
- Dark wash is slimming! If you're self-conscious about your hips, don't wear jeans with details, distressing or fading around the top; if you're self-conscious about your thighs, don't wear jeans with fading around the thighs, etc., etc.
- The best jeans for the pear-shaped body type is boot cut or straight leg. Note: Straight leg does not equal skinny.
- Be wary of flared or very flared jeans - instead of looking natural and flattering, it can add strange proportion or make you look like a big cylinder. That said, flared jeans can definitely work - but make sure they doesn't leave you looking visually unbalanced.
- Stay away from very high-waisted pants!
- Big booty? Opt for larger pockets. The smaller the rear pockets are, the bigger your butt is going to look.
- Bit of a tummy? Go for a mid-rise - it should hit right below your bellybutton. And make sure the rear of the jeans is slightly higher than the front, to reign in all problem areas.
- As I mentioned above: Dark wash is slimming! If you're self-conscious about your hips, don't wear jeans with details, distressing or fading around the top; if you're self-conscious about your thighs, don't wear jeans with fading around the thighs, etc., etc.
- If you are curvy with a small waist, you have the best figure for high-waisted jeans, which will accentuate all the right places.
- Skinnies are also very flattering, and elongate your legs while showing off your curves.
- Opt out of a very low-rise, which can show off a little too much when you sit down or bend over.
- Let them be tight! Your bod was made for jeans; wear the right ones and your body will make its own curves.
Lucky you, Ms. Rectangle - you can get away with almost all cuts and shapes!
- Most flattering - slim, fitted denim with a little bit of stretch.
- High-waisted jeans make your legs go on for days.
- Little lacking in the badonk department? Try jeans with slightly smaller pockets than normal.